You are here!

It has been so long. My hands tremble because I am high and I am here after an eternity. I read and re-read my blogs but I know I have lost the art. I don’t foster the guilt in my heart. I miss my past. I was watching The Office. It brings such memories or loneliness. Of being myself. I’d never like my daughter to know this side of me. She is the best thing to happen to me in this life. I love you baby! There is nothing important to me than you and your mom. Two decisions that I was so confused about but I made nevertheless. Best decisions ever.

Did you know I wrote this blog when I was returning from ████████ decided that I will give up on my relationship with your mom? I decided that my happiness was less important than everyone elses in this world? But I changed my mind and that is why we have you today. And I am glad I did. I can barely see keys on this keyboard and I can barely remember past. But no matter how it may seem, your mom was best thing to happen to me. I was spiralling down a rabbit hole of self destruction and self loathing and self hatred when she came along and told me it was ok to be what you are. Even if she doesn’t know it, she doesn’t realize it. She is a gem and she is honest. She is the best mom you will ever have. She undervalues herself and she is awesome. Which by the way is another word that you learned this week. “Awesome”.

We don’t ever know how our lived are going to end, but you stay awesome. I love you. Like nohting else.

You know earlier this week I changed my profiled picture to rebel against the itrusion you hve on our lives, to signify, that me and R have a live and love of our own. But truth is you are life now. I have hard time typing on leyboard and you have hard time forming words. But you are unique, you are who you are and we will love you no matter what.

I hope these random words help you find clarity in your life that I have no way of finding. Even if we say no, you know what to do. I love you no matter what, You and your mom are here. Low you.