Somebody Pull The Plug!

Long time eh..?
Yeah!
In middle of cooking pasta and cleaning house, I was thinking how was I gonna meet all the deadlines by monday! And then, I switched to channel one. Hillary Swank strapped to life support systems, bearing a bleak smile of tragedy; stuck to hospital bed.
Million Dollar Baby!
What a movie! If there are few people who know how to act, it’s
Morgan freeman, al pachino, Anthony Hopkins, Hillary Swank and only few others, who bear the knack of classic act.

She was begging client eastwood to pull the plug! And morgan freeman was on her side. He said, most of us when we die, out last thought is, “I didn’t get my shot”. But whe she would die, she would think “She got her shot. And she did pretty well!”.

I was thinking, If I cared whether I got my shot or not? But I knew, I didn’t care, all I want to do something was to “pull the plug” for me too.
I am just tired. Havent slept in days, been coming home 4:00 every morning, leaving early. Pressure is mounting from work, family, life, expectations and every possible corner. Feel lonely as hell. Everyone, who was there is abandoning me. Half of the week I am depressed and crying; rest half I am striving to prove it.
The question to me is, “prove what”? “Prove to who”? “Prove Why?”
I don’t have an answer, all I know is I not gonna be shoved back, because life wants to have it it;s way! I am gonna fight back. And yet, I wish, that during this duel someone would just pull it for me.
I don’t wanna give up, because I never will and yet I want someone else to do it for me. :(

In 15 minutes have to leave to meet few people who are considering my sister for marriage to their son. I am not even sure, what am I gonna ask, what is it that I am gonna say? I have just let it go from my head as if now. It’s numb anyway from lack of sleep and probably booze. :(

I need to run to oblivion. And only way I can think of right now is, intoxicating sips of liqour!

I hope, it’s not long before I start running or fall down for last time; once and for all.
I hate you life. You are doing best of what you are best at doing. Beat me down, yet once again.

Cya.