Nothing Left To Say...
when inexorable force of will-power and reason imbibe all the hate trapped inside you; you are left with nothing but, just vaccum of nothingness. It’s a sad thing to happen, because at this point, you are insecure, gullible, vulnerable and unstable. Any thing, said and done [even unintentionally] to hurt you; would push you towards the edge.
Yeah.. it happens.
Three things, I have to mumble incoherently to myself, every morning when I get up:
- Forget and Focus
- Nothing is impossible. Nothing.
- Rise and Shine.
I have started truly believing in second one. I know I can make anything happen, which has a sane reason and serious motivation for me.
But the problem that I am dealing with right now is; I have lost all the aims. I am like a stray nuke which is fatal when it strikes, all that it doesn’t know is; where to strike?
What am I suppose to do with my life? What have “you” decided to do with your life? I’ll be damned, if anyone knows an answer to this question. And even If i decide to make a breakthrough in technology of upcoming century; why should I do that? I mean, what if I don’t want fame and money. You know what the problem is? I don’t know what I want? Probably, I don’t want anything! Maybe, when I am more miserable and sad, I’ll be able to decide that.
I read long back, “All Those who wander are not lost”. And so true it is. I don’t even know what to say anymore. I feel empty today. Like, I would rather go back to past, and live in monochrome centuries. Atleast, everything, would be “black and white”. All the choices would be just, two sides of a rusted coin. Yeah..thats what I have become. Just a rusted old coin, which serves no purpose but is integral part of some “maniac’s” collection of rusted coins. In my case, it’s just god. Probably I don’t even believe in him.
Eyes, fixed on nothingness
because there’s nothing left to see
mind wondering about, time I have left
as there’s nothing more, I’d want to be
wandering around in same old circles
counting eternal time, each night and day
It’s not that, my lips are sealed with vows
It’s just that, today I have nothing left to say