Suddenly Old.

It’s ironical, really, how a hepatotoxic liquid which is cursed to wean reason and sense from our bodies; can sometimes pour so much life into it. It’s been a long time of deprivation and desire. It’s not a natural instinct to long for it; but it’s a natural cycle that brings me back to it; and in this whole cycle I merely play the smallest part possible.

Nevermind the blabbering; I am just growing old; slower in appearence than in heart and soul. It’s more often that I feel tired and it’s more often that I give up; although only to resume. It’s just that somedays; you are more old than you’ll probably ever be; but then that is life; isn’t it?

Learning things hard way and easy way; the one I will always keep close to my heart is that; it may be hard to crawl your way up; but the straight free fall down is the real torment. It not only breaks your pride but it breaks your heart harder. You stand as a pauper in the real world and every single bit that you owned or took pride in as a prince; just slips away into nothingness. The crown that distinguishes you from common and coarse; the pride of a lion and throne of a monarch; all
disappears as if it was never there. And yet; thats not the lesson; the real lesson is that what is more painful than all this unsurpassable agony is, excruciation of fading love. To see something like that go away; there would be trillions time you’d wish; that it would have been better if it was never there.

And then; maybe it’s just a figment of an “suddenly-old” mind. In anycase; here is something that is dedicated to my pessimistic spirit. Hope I’ll live to tell the tale and not perish with the turbulence.

Clinging to absolutely nothing,
I just fumble for a rope
I know, I’ll never make it,
cause There’s a frost bite in my hope…