When..

U2 - Without of without you.
This is not merely a song to me. It’s grieving me in my moments of despair. This song owns me because the moment I play this song; it plays with me.
I need booze. I have been longing for it now. :( Just want it. Get slouched; cry the tanks out and live my normal life once again. There is so much stuck inside. I have just become handicap and I don’t have my crutches. I am just sitting her waiting for miracles to happen; waiting for life to change. But how long? 16 years already?
Miracles don’t happen. They never will. People come around; and treat you like a dog. Feed you with love for few days and then call you stray and kick in your belly and leave to relish the more beautiful things in world. And you would always stay stray until you take charge of your own destiny.
But today, I am just too broken to gather my pieces of hope and faith. I would be just too grateful if someone would just come by and help me do it. But told you; it’s not my day.

when tears break away free down the face,
when time run past you in the race.
when trembling knees give away,
when you can’t find words to say.
when shaking hands and screaming head,
when comes dawning moment you always dread.
when world close in, leaving nowhere to go,
when you dont reap whatever it is you sow.
when your faith is broken for once and all,
when there is no-one to catch as you fall.
when you want to give up cause it’s all done,
when you are left all alone with just no one.

Don’t pity me. I hate it. Just leave me alone; because I know thats what you are best at. If not for one reason in my life; I’d be free today. Don’t know if thats a good thing or bad. I am just going to get through this day and gather my remains.

Love
Me