Rebellion

It was summer holidays. I was idling with my mom on a lazy Sunday afternoon. She was lying beside me, while I was buried in a comic book. I gave her a side glance and I could hear the thinking wheels in her head turning. This was a few days after the rebellious act that I did to save my sister from her wrath! I had misjudged, unfortunately. My mother suspected her of doing something unsavory and she was looking for proof. I trailed her quietly while she ransacked her cupboard. When she found a small paper buried in her journal, I figured she had found what she was looking for. I grabbed it before she could, and I tried to eat the paper. She poked her finger in my mouth and I bit her hard until she bled. At which point she unleashed one of her tight slaps and as I gaped, she fished the paper out. It was a cake recipe. So much for the rebellious act!

Anyway, the whole incident left her wondering if my sister was being a bad influence on me. So she had, no doubt, confided in her sister, who, after consulting with her partner, decided to offer that I move in with them, far away from my parents and sister, and continue my education in a city environment.

That afternoon I could see her making the needed sacrifices and resolve in her head. After much hesitation, she pulled me close, closed my book, and asked me how I would like to spend the summer vacation with my aunt. I was always ready to take up a challenge, and I saw that as one — a chance to demonstrate my streak of independence. I consented. She moved further by asking if I would like to stay there and continue my studies there with them. Unflinchingly, I once again consented. She was taken aback but very happy.

I thought it was just a thought experiment, until I was boarding a bus with a suitcase and a trunk, all packed, on my way to the city, where I spent the rest of my childhood in my aunt’s house.

Of all the things in the sequence, that afternoon is a vivid core memory for me. Maybe in retrospect, I did understand what that conversation meant after all; and that solidified it as a moment that always stayed with me.

I had always thought of it as a bit of a heartless action. Being a parent myself now, I realize that that afternoon, as she discussed it with me, she was preparing herself to make one of the biggest sacrifices a mother could make, for a future she hadn’t seen yet.