It's been such a long, long time

Wow, it’s been such a long long time. So many things in life are cyclic just like seasons; for instance depression. I didn’t think for a long time I’d come here and write my heart out. This is my place, dumping ground. I am devoid of any alcohol, craving for it though and song in my ear is one of the old ones, “I Miss you by Blink 182”.

Can you believe this crap. I just got up with a head that screamed of failure, pointless life and complicated feelings. So much of it seems like yesterday. And like always, I don’t even know what it’s about.

I am just sitting at a random coordinate in my life and on this earth, that it just seems to magnify my “pointlessness”; there is no mission, no aim. I am here, because life brought me. Funny eh?

My plan is to get some elixir of life and soak my soul in it. Here it costs only < $10. I think for a change I’ll go with wine. That is, if I survive the day. If I don’t, then I know at the end of the day today; I would have lost all the semblance I have left and I’ll be caving in to all my fears; sobbing and digging my way out of this rat hole. Isn’t that how it always is?

There isn’t anything to write, except a strong urge. But I have been so rusty, that I am sure, there is nowhere I am going with these random lines.

Fuck you whole world. I don’t know what you have done to me; but I am sure, you have done something. There is no revenge, there is no anger; I am just a dried up twig; ready to crack at it’s first bend.

Here I go.